Things I Never Thought

Well kids, we’re coming up on two years time living in New York City. A lot has changed, and a lot hasn’t. (I think that’s the way it should be, no?) Anyway, despite most characteristics remaining intact from the pre-city days, there are a few new little quirks in my personality. Listed below are the things I thought I’d never own, wear, see, or do:

I never thought I’d… not notice when a man dressed up as a large male reproductive organ walked down the street next to me. I can’t say I even blinked at the costume.

I never thought I’d… eat PB&J for nearly 9 months straight.

Or bump into Stanley Tucci and see Steve Martin in the subway.

I never thought I’d… carry 1 to 2 pocket knives in my purse on any given day. And I never thought I’d pull said pocket knifes out of my purse.

I never thought I’d… wear a huge, puffy knee-length down jacket. In fact, it was my uniform in the Winter of 2010-2011. May that coat rest in peace for a few months.

 I never thought I’d… do my laundry at a laundromat with quarters and the whole schlep. I dreamed of big city living for a long time – yet somehow laundry was never apart of those dreams. 

 I never thought I’d… drop Yiddish phrases in my blog posts (see above statement). Or eat a better bagel than one from Einstein’s.

Oh how wrong I was.

I never thought I’d… dance on tables in the Lower East Side.

Or walk and walk and walk until every shoe (and I mean EVERY shoe) has a hole in them.

I never thought I’d… catch a 3am train to Queens or a 4am train to Manhattan.

I never thought I’d… pretty much pass out on 5^th Ave from sleep deprivation. Or email my resume and cover letter to so many companies (I believe my whole generation can nod to this one). 

 I never thought I’d… have a natural affinity for graffiti-covered bathrooms, PBR, hummus, and hollandaise sauce.

 

I never thought I’d… have a pigeon poop on my head.

I never thought I’d… have dinner with drag queens or get tips from a homeless man about living on the street.

I never thought I’d… meet such interesting, fabulous people who I encounter everyday and depend on incessantly. 

I never thought I’d… wear so many colored tights, layers, headbands, hats, leather, or satchel bags. But it’s just so easy!

I never thought I’d… be in a photo shoot or a fashion show. And I didn’t think I’d see a movie before it was released or participate in a 100+ person pillow fight.

I never thought I’d… feel so low or so high, or feel so much from a constantly morphing life among the extremes, where your values are tested and your ideals are tempted to both wither and mature within the exact same second.

I never thought I’d… be so scared of cockroaches.

Or be so fond of green grass on trips home.

And I never thought you’d… read this blog.

So thank you. 

Oh also, I never thought I'd... almost punch my sister in the face when she came up behind me in a bookstore. Personality quirk. What can I say? Don't reach for my purse G-race. 

Things I Never Thought